Its never fair, the things that happen in this world.So what are you doing about it?

Its never fair, the things that happen in this world.

I was sleeping so snugly and soundly in my room this afternoon. I
needed that rest so badly. Was so drained and tired. My mom came into
my room and woke me up twice. She said to me: aaron (my 3yr old nephew) is sick, can you send me to your sisters house?

I was bemused, grumpy and fedup. Cant i sleep in peace? I so wanted to tell my mom that ive not been sleeping well lately. And that i myself am sick. That im so heartbroken and depressed and am in need of personal time and sapce and... Hmmm i wanted to sound really bad so i could shrug off my responsibily for driving my mom. And so i thought to myself. Maybe theres noone else home. But when i went downstairs, i saw my brother lounging downstairs watching tv.

There are 3 cars in my household. My dad disappeared in his car, who knows where he went. My brother and mom both could drive, so why must i be woken up just to drive to my sisters house whihch is a 5 mins walk away? No matter, i kept quiet and drove her anyway.

Sometimes i dont understand my family. I'm the youngest son. Yet i'm
always being called upon to do such things. Why dont they approach my
brother? Am i so reliable and dependable? Or are they just too afraid
to trouble my brother who will always complaint and lament over
everything while im always accepting everything quiety and without
complaint? I complain too. I resent it too. But i just choose to be
quiet. Is it fair?


Lifes unfair most of the time. its reality. We can choose to sit down
and complain, despair, give up and wait till somebody comes alone to
rescue you. Most often than not, that never happens. Sometimes you are
lucky and there is someone who is conveniently beside you to hold you
and provide you with reassuring comfort thriughout your ordeal. At
other times, there just isnt.


Someone told me this morning that "if you cant love yourself, how can
you love others?" I always thought that if i had somebody who loved
me, then i woudnt need to love myself and i can just focus on loving
others. Thats the happy prince story.

But in a way, that person is right.

if you dont love yourself enough to realise how important and useful
you are to others, then youll only focus on yourself (ego-centric) and
your ownselfish needs to be happy. And all you'll do is fall into a
state of self-hate,depression and complain and lement and resent.


Aarons dad is a doctor and has tonnes of medicine about the house. My mom called him and asked him for some prescriptions. She and those at home couldnt find the right one. Even if my bro or dad came, they wouldnt have helped in anyway. I was the only one around who
could understand and read medications.


That person was right. I had to help myself. I was so glad I didn't complain and I managed to get myself out of bed. I had become useful just by that simple act.

We have to learn to love ourselves first. We are definately worth so much more than we deserve to be treated. We shouldn't just sit around and despair, complain, lament or resent.
We shouldn't give up hope that someday, our swallow would come and love us.


I'm glad I havent.