Random

Child Prodigy - http://tinyurl.com/yxewot
Bookmarks anywhere - Del.icio.us! - http://del.icio.us/

Why do we let ourselves down?

"One of the nice things about looking at a bear is that you know it spends 100 per cent of every minute of every day being a bear. It doesn't strive to become a better bear. It doesn't go to sleep thinking, "I wasn't really a very good bear today". They are just 100 per cent bear, whereas human beings feel we're not 100 per cent human, that we're always letting ourselves down. We're constantly striving towards something, to some fulfilment". Stephen Fry

I've let myself down. I've let everyone down.

I'm a perfectionist.
At least I try to be.
Be what? A perfectionist? Or someone else who I am not?

I've been making mistakes after mistakes.
And everyone around me has suffered for it.
I feel miserable and lost.
I'm not the person I used to be.
I cannot cope with imperfections. can i?


Over here, where perfection is expected, I hesitate. And i fail to achieve thus.

The environment exposes and provides opportunities for individuals to discover fulfilment.
Yet everyone expects them to be passionate about the things we throw at them.
And we have to condone them for unfavourable reactions.
We create the environment.
They merely respond.
And because there exist different variations.
There will be different responses.

My role in all of this?

I'm the anti-thesis, providing the opposite.
Rage against the machine.

I do not know what I believe in anymore.

Oh yah....
Fullfillment.
What are we striving towards?

At least a bear 'knows' its a bear.

Awareness and consciousness.

Terrible!

Love

Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love:it is the faithless who know love's tragedies." Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde

How true.

With a silver spoon, or in a well worn rag.
Who knows more of the real state of the world out there?
The Ans: Both.
Different perspectives of reality.
And of life.

That's an Ordinary world.

Where does love come in anyway?

Oscar Wilde was gay.
So is Stephen Fry.
Intelligent men whom i respect, are gay.

Do they experience Love?


Quotes, all from Stephen Fry
"What you do with your penis or your bottom or anything else is so supremely irrelevant in a moral sense. It's what we do with our personalities and other people that matters."[7]

From his autobiography, Moab Is My Washpot:
"There are plenty of other things to be got up to in the homosexual world outside the orbit of the anal ring, but the concept that really gets the goat of the gay-hater, the idea that really spins their melon and sickens their stomach is that most terrible and terrifying of all human notions, love. That one can love another of the same gender, that is what the homophobe really cannot stand. Love in all eight tones and all five semitones of the word's full octave. Love as agape, Eros and philos; love as romance, friendship and adoration; love as infatuation, obsession and lust; love as torture, euphoria, ecstasy and oblivion (this is beginning to read like a Calvin Klein perfume catalogue); love as need, passion and desire."

From his radio broadcast, "Trefusis Blasphemes":
"I am a lover of truth, a worshipper of freedom, a celebrant at the altar of language and purity and tolerance. That is my religion, and every day I am sorely, grossly, heinously and deeply offended, wounded, mortified and injured by a thousand different blasphemies against it. When the fundamental canons of truth, honesty, compassion and decency are hourly assaulted by fatuous bishops, pompous, illiberal and ignorant priests, politicians and prelates, sanctimonious censors, self-appointed moralists and busy-bodies, what recourse of ancient laws have I? None whatever. Nor would I ask for any. For unlike these blistering imbeciles my belief in my religion is strong and I know that lies will always fail and indecency and intolerance will always perish."

"You should try the fruit of every tree of every garden in the world. But 'try' is the word. Some fruits will be rotten, some will be poisonous, and some will be so seductive you eat nothing else and become malnu-treated, if there is such a word."

Life's meanings

From a controversial Singaporean blogger
"I find the strangest sort of men extremely beautiful. More than anything I adore intelligence and the absence of self-denial. I would sooner fall in love with a guy that used to visit orchard towers than a guy that wants so badly to but is too ashamed and too afraid. The former is simply fufilling a physical need and getting along with his life, the latter is obsessed with the need and incapable of understanding that life is not about abiding by social rules and hoping it will get you somewhere. It’s about finding yourself. All the pursuits of man end up being motivated either by the indulgence of the ego or sexual desire. In my case, it’s a clear case of both. I’m well aware of it. All the time I am saying “look how smart and well-disciplined I am! Want me!” I know for certain I am not the only one. Lots of people do it, from scientists to engineers to artists. Mark does it. In fact, every single person I know does it. We try to convince ourselves we are beyond our biology, but we aren’t, and that’s why so many people have an issue with evolution. We can’t face the fact that at heart, we are primal, that all our endevours are primarily motivated by such a base thing as sexual desire.

I am facinated by the fact that we are like little animals, I think there’s something wonderful in not imagining we have a ‘higher calling’ as human beings beyond simply being born, reproducing and dying. It leaves a lot more room to do the things I want to without the inhibition of the afterlife."

It never ends.
Where will this path lead you my dear girl?
For all the sophistic logic.
I fear...
It is widely prevalent and rampant in the youth of today.

Truth is abandoned in favor of self-indulgent notions.

Left me in the vacuum of my heart

So that's what monks think about.
Or what drove people to become monks.
=)



Ordinary World

Came in from a rainy Thursday
On the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly

I turned on the lights, the TV
And the radio
Still I can't escape the ghost of you

What has happened to it all?
Crazy, some are saying
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

Passion or coincidence
Once prompted you to say
"Pride will tear us both apart"
Well now pride's gone out the window
Cross the rooftops
Run away
Left me in the vacuum of my heart

What is happening to me?
Crazy, some'd say
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk

And I don't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

Every one
Is my world, I will learn to survive
Any one
Is my world, I will learn to survive
Any one
Is my world
Every one
Is my world


But of course nothing beats the original:

Just When I Needed You Most

"What a heart-wrenching video. This is one of the reasons why I vow to help other people, esp children, in the future. I come from a third world country, and have seen far worse things than this. Now I'm getting my life on track. It just breaks my heart that I can't save all of them. And to all of YOU, if you know you can help, please do!!!" - Comment on YouTube



Woke up this morning and I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing door
I didn't stand in your way

I miss you more than I missed you before
And where I'll find comfort God knows
Cause you left me just when I needed you most
You left me just when I needed you most

Most every morning I stare out the window
And I think about where you might be
I've written you letters that I'd like to send
If you would just send one to me

Misery

I've lost my sense of living, but gained a passion for life.
Miserable Misery.
Where's my hole to hide in.
Can't function.

Oscar Wilde.... What sort of man was he?
What goes into his mind each moment of the day.
Is there one like him today?

Budak Pantai.
I can't wait!

Let me try.
TO get out of this rut!

So it wasn't...

So it wasn't a chronic headache.
It was either the beer or the meat...
Either way it came out the wrong way and everything started feeling better.
Throats a little scratchy.

Windows Vista....
haha!

ICD10 R51

OUCH!

There are five types of headache:
1) vascular
2) myogenic (muscle tension)
3) cervicogenic
4) traction
5) inflammatory.

Specific types of headaches include:

• Migraine
• Ictal headache
• Ice cream headache
• Thunderclap headache
• Vascular headache
• Toxic headache
• Coital cephalalgia (also known as: sex headache)
• Sinus headache
• Hemicrania continua
• Rebound headache (also called medication overuse headache, abbreviated MOH)
• Red Wine Headache RWH
• New daily persistent headache (NDPH)

Migraine Prevention: A Guide to the Latest Methods and Treatments

Sponsored by an educational grant
from Ortho-McNeil Neurologics

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

It's an old saying, but for many migraine sufferers, it rings especially true. Benjamin Franklin may not have had migraine in mind when he coined this phrase. But for those who have migraine attacks, especially very frequent or severe attacks, prevention should be considered a key part of overall treatment plan.
http://www.headaches.org/consumer/educationalmodules/migraine_module/page_home.htm

What Teachers Make

What Teachers Make, or
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school

By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

What difference have I made?
What difference can I make?
How different can I make it?

What have I done?

Dimensions

"Our perception and hence mind, is defined by our senses.
Our plane of being, is manifested through my existence."


It all started with some discussions about dimensions. Miss such sessions.
Have been such a mopey wreck.
Now I'm lost somehow.
Drifting through work.

Mood swings.

What am I doing?
Everything seems pointless.

I'm human too.
What a terrible price to pay.
To be a teacher.
Who is lost.
In space.

A break is imminent.


Imagining Other Dimensions by Rick Groleau http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/dimensions.html

Dimensions From Wikipedia -
In common usage, a dimension (Latin, "measured out") is a parameter or measurement required to define the characteristics of an object—i.e. length, width, and height or size and shape. In mathematics, dimensions are the parameters required to describe the position and relevant characteristics of any object within a conceptual space —where the dimensions of a space are the total number of different parameters used for all possible objects considered in the model. Generalizations of this concept are possible and different fields of study will define their spaces by their own relevant dimensions, and use these spaces as frameworks upon which all other study (in that area) is based. In specialized contexts, units of measurement may sometimes be "dimensions"—meters or feet in geographical space models, or cost and price in models of a local economy.

Plane of existence
In metaphysics and esoteric cosmology, a plane of existence (sometimes called simply a plane, dimension, vibrating plane, or an inner, invisible, spiritual, supraphysical world, or egg) is conceived as a subtle region of space (and/or consciousness) beyond, but permeating, the known physical universe (or a portion of the physical universe itself) and inhabited by evolving spirit-life beings in different stages of consciousness.

The above concept may be found in religious, metaphysical and esoteric teachings - e.g. Vedanta (Advaita Vedanta), Neoplatonism, Gnosticism, Kashmir Shaivism, Sant Mat/Surat Shabd Yoga, Sufism, Druze, Kaballah, Theosophy, Anthroposophy, Rosicrucianism (Esoteric Christian), Eckankar, etc. - which propound the idea of a whole series of subtle planes or worlds or dimensions which, from a center, interpenetrate themselves and the physical planet in which we live, the solar systems, and all the physical structures of the universe. This interpenetration of planes culminates in the universe itself as a physical structured, dynamic and evolutive expression emanated through a series of steadily denser stages, becoming progressively more material and embodied.

The emanation is conceived, according to esoteric teachings, to have been originated, at the dawn of the universe's manifestation, in The Supreme Being Who sent out - from the unmanifested Absolute beyond comprehension - the dynamic force of creative energy, as sound-vibration ("the Word"), into the abyss of space. On the other hand, it states that this dynamic force is being sent forth, through the ages, framing all things that constitute and inhabit the universe.

Music

Why does my blog have only music?

"Music is an art form that involves organized and audible sounds and silence. It is usually expressed in terms of pitch (which includes melody and harmony), rhythm (which includes tempo and meter), and the quality of sound (which includes timbre, articulation, dynamics, and texture). Music may also involve generative forms in time through the construction of patterns and combinations of natural stimuli, principally sound. Music may be used for artistic or aesthetic, communicative, entertainment, or ceremonial purposes. The definition of what constitutes music varies according to culture and social context." - Wikipedia

"Music an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color." - Dictionary

"The aesthetics of music or musical aesthetics is the quality and study of the beauty and enjoyment (plaisir and jouissance), the aesthetics, of music.

Music has the ability to affect our emotions, intellect, and our psychology; lyrics can assuage our loneliness or incite our passions. As such, music is a powerful art form whose aesthetic appeal is highly dependent upon the culture in which it is practiced.

Some of the aesthetic elements expressed in music include lyricism, harmony, hypnotism, emotiveness, temporal dynamics, resonance, playfulness, and colour (see musical development)." - Wikipedia

- 2: Music as Imitation
- 3: Music as Idea
- 4: Music as Autonomous Form
- 5: Music as Symbol
- 6: Music as Experienced
- 7: Music as Social and Political Force

Music has to be composed.
Music has to be performed.
Music has to be interpreted.
It is either perceived, or non existent.
Our mind senses the Patterns
Our emotions are stimulated.
It expresses and influences our inner soul.
It has the power to move people.
It is defined by the individual.