Why do we let ourselves down?

"One of the nice things about looking at a bear is that you know it spends 100 per cent of every minute of every day being a bear. It doesn't strive to become a better bear. It doesn't go to sleep thinking, "I wasn't really a very good bear today". They are just 100 per cent bear, whereas human beings feel we're not 100 per cent human, that we're always letting ourselves down. We're constantly striving towards something, to some fulfilment". Stephen Fry

I've let myself down. I've let everyone down.

I'm a perfectionist.
At least I try to be.
Be what? A perfectionist? Or someone else who I am not?

I've been making mistakes after mistakes.
And everyone around me has suffered for it.
I feel miserable and lost.
I'm not the person I used to be.
I cannot cope with imperfections. can i?


Over here, where perfection is expected, I hesitate. And i fail to achieve thus.

The environment exposes and provides opportunities for individuals to discover fulfilment.
Yet everyone expects them to be passionate about the things we throw at them.
And we have to condone them for unfavourable reactions.
We create the environment.
They merely respond.
And because there exist different variations.
There will be different responses.

My role in all of this?

I'm the anti-thesis, providing the opposite.
Rage against the machine.

I do not know what I believe in anymore.

Oh yah....
Fullfillment.
What are we striving towards?

At least a bear 'knows' its a bear.

Awareness and consciousness.

Terrible!