Song: Faith of the Heart

I'm not insane. Really.


Performed by Russel Watson.

It's been a long road

Getting from there to here

It's been a long time

But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now

Nothing's in my way

And they're not gonna hold me down no more

No they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

And no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith, I've got faith,

faith of the heart

It's been a long night

Trying to find my way

Been through the darkness

Now I've finally had my day

And I will see my dream come alive at last

I will touch the sky

And they're not gonna hold me down no more

No they're not gonna change my mind

I know that we're so cold

We've seen the darkest days

But now the winds I feel

Are only winds of change

I've been through the fire

I've been through the rain

But I'll be flying, oh yeah

'Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

And no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith, I've got faith,

Faith of the heart

It's been a long road

Another week has passed

Been sleeping 2-4 hours each night.
But never felt better.
Had so many strange and interesting incidents happening this week.

You Ming
Ch****
Resonance
SMS friend
Shall We Dance?
Julian & Glenn
Bastard
Newspaper collection
Fetus in Fetu
Pharisans

Simply amazing.
Who will be there as a testament and witness for my life?

Coincidence or fate?

My heart raced, my body trembled.
I wanted to run and hide.
But there is no need to run and no need to hide.

My life's a fairy tale.
I still cannot believe it.
The coincidences and amazing things that happen to me.
Is God playing a trick on me?

And its so queer!!!!!
So many many many msgs from friends the moment I reached home!
I dun understand the things that happen.

Someday it shall be revealed.

The Triple Fool

Heard great music today, 1st from a shan dong chinese orchestra, followed by "kick-ass" B' Quartet. You gotta hear them to understand.
I'm a Fool. I chose to be a fool. I shall be the best fool.

The Triple Fool By John Donne.

I am two fools, I know,

For Loving, and for saying so

In whining poetry;

But where's that wise man, that would not be I,

If she would not deny?

Then as th'earth's inward narrow crooked lanes

Do purge sea-water's fretful salt away,

I thought, if i could draw my pains

Through rhyme's vexation, I should them allay.

Grief brought to numbers cannot be so fierce,

For he tames it, that fetters it in verse.

But when I have done so,

Some man, his art and voice to show,

Doth set and sing my pain,

And, by delighting many, frees again

Grief, which verse did restrain.

To love and grief tribute of verse belongs,

But not of such as pleases when 'tis read;

Both are increased by such songs:

For both their triumphs so are published,

And I, which was two fools, do so grow three;

Who are a little wise, the best fools be.

The Life Heroic

I like the man who faces what he must
With step triumphant and a heart of cheer;
Who fights the daily battle without fear;
Sees his hopes fail, yet keeps unfaltering trust
That God is God; that somehow, true and just,
His plans work out for mortals. Not a tear
Is shed when fortune, which the world holds dear.
Falls from his grasp. Better with love a crust
Than living in dishonor; envies not,
Nor loses faith in man, but does his best,
Nor ever murmurs at his humbler lot,
But with a smile and words of hope gives zest
To every' toiler. He alone is great

Who by a life heroic conquers fate.

I Love Roman Philosophers

"LOOK at a man in the midst of doubt and danger, and you will learn in his hour of adversity what he really is; It is then that true utterances are wrung from the recesses of his breast. The mask is torn off; the reality remains."

- Lucretius

From a dying man

Been sick for so long. Too long.
Its getting worse.
Tired of taking medicines.
But no matter.
I'm just taking a break.
What breaks you makes you stronger.

"Hearts were made to be broken, they get stronger by the day"

Song: Stay on The Road

Why Can't anyone understand?
Why doesn't anyone bother....
Its all so... Simple...


By Corrinne May
Don't turn your laughing eyes away
You know I love you
There's no need to be afraid
Hearts are made to be broken
They get stronger by the day
I'll take a chance and drop all my defenses
Just to hear you say

How long is the road
How long is the ride
How long is the darkness till we get to the light
Go easy on me
Cause you already know
No matter the distance
I'll stay on the road to your heart

You say I've been a fool too long
You wonder why I have the strength to carry on
I see through your weakness
Your tough guy iron mask
It's not really that hard or complicated
There's no need to ask

How long is the road
How long is the ride
How long is the darkness till we get to the light
Go easy on me
Cause you already know
No matter the distance
I'll stay on the road to your heart
I'll stay on the road to your heart

I'll stay on the road to your heart

Song: Somewhere Only We Know

Put this up before. But I love this song so much.
I love it too much
Been listening to it over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Dunno why it just seems to reach out deep inside me and leads me to a far far away place.
Maddening sadness and Sorrow
Tormenting emptiness and loneliness
that etches on forever.
Dying is just too easy.

Somewhere Only We Know
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Song: Let Me Fall

By Gosh Groban

Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dream must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix
May or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these useless fears
And shame

Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warning
I won't hear

Let me fall
If I fall
There's no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall

I'm sick

I don't think i can go on. not like this.
The ability to rationalise.
Overwhelming, spinning, congregating, clustering, cluttering spiralling.
Noise.
There is just so much. Too much.
The world is too harsh for me.

Song: Same Side of the Moon

I’m looking out the window
Where we sat to watch the stars
There’s a chill within the air
That makes my heart long for your touch
You maybe miles away
But as I kneel to pray

I see the same side of the moon
That we’ll be looking on when the world turns blue
I know the time and space can’t come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you never see all my tears shine through
I know I can’t be afar from you
If we’re both looking on the same side of the moon

I picture you across the oceans, in your corner of the world
I pray that wind come for my voice and gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change

It’s still the same side of the moon
That we’ll be looking on when the world turns blue
I know the time and space can’t come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you never see all my tears shine through
I know I can’t be afar from you
If we’re both looking on the same side of the moon
I know I can’t be afar from you
If we’re both looking on the same side of the moon

By Corrinne May

Song: Love Song For A Savior

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"
"my heart beats for You"

Discovery channel.

http://dsc.discovery.com/

Building The Ultimates: Submarines. Amazing how the sonar technicians have to rememeber (and they can even mimic!) all the sounds in the water, including sounds of the marine life. Simply astounding.

Wild Science: Owning The Weather
Cloud seeding.
Nanotech bots designed like pollen, scattered all over the earth to monitor weather patterns
Powder that absorbs 2000X its weight of water. disperse hurricanes
Vietnam war: Operation Popeye.
Chaos theory.

Song: That's The Way Love Should Be

We hold hands in the movie show
So they say that we’re old fashioned
Or we stroll beneath the silv’ry moon, oo-oo-oo-oon
And we carve our initials in the old oak tree
That’s old fashioned, that’s the way love should be

We enjoy sitting side by side
In the booth in the ice cream parlor
Where we play the nickelodeon, ah-ah-ah-ahn
And we dance when we hear our favorite melody
That’s old fashioned, that’s the way love should be

It’s a modern changing world
Everything is moving fast
But when it comes to love I like
What they did in the past

I’m the kind who loves only one
So the boys say I’m old fashioned
Let them laugh, honey I don’t mi-i-i-i-ind
I’ve made plans for a wedding day for you and me
That’s old fashioned, that’s the way love should be

Ramblings of a Sick mind

Even my body has given up on me...
Sigh...
Finally at last.. Wonder if everything else will hold.
Doctor asked me if i wanted more MC. Should have said yes.

Watched Human senses on Discovery channel. On hearing.
ALways so amazed by the things in our world. Can spend the whole day watching this channel.
But bored after awhile. Noone to share this amazement with.

Music. A pity my organ is down. Outta get it fixed. Wonder how i survived without it all these years.

Watched "The Pianist" on DVD.
The horrors inflicted on man by man.
(Though this wasn't the main theme)
One of the reasons why I want to teach.
Man, without proper governence, are just savages.
Either have good leaders, or individuals of good virtues.

On injustices.
Why do we even bother to believe in goodness, or to do "good" deeds?
Because of religion/faith?
Because of moral/Ethical/Social beliefs?
Because of intrinsic altruism?
Because of foolishness/stupidity?


A reminder: Prudence, Temperance, Justice, Fortitude, Charity, Hope, Faith

When You Are Old and Grey

By WB Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Song: Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough

I don’t wanna lose you,
I don’t wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side

And I don’t wanna hate you
I don’t wanna take you
But I don’t wanna be the one to cry

That don’t really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

Chorus
But there’s a danger in loving somebody too much
And it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain’t enough

Now I could never change you
I don’t wanna blame you
Baby you don’t have to take the fall

Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all

It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something’s gonna change

Chorus

And there’s no way home
When it’s late at night and you’re all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay

And there’s a danger in loving somebody too much
And it’s sad when you know it’s your heart they can’t touch.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain’t enough.

Baby sometimes love just ain’t enough.

The week's major highlights.

1: Semester 2 starts
2: Mercy Relief
3: Gay Bar

Semester 2 starts
My period of trial and perseverence starts. 5 more weeks. Enjoyed one class in particular. Found a nice secluded corner to call my own.


Mercy Relief/Tsunami
-The idea of volunteerism. Thought provoking.
-Reality check.
-Is there altruism?
-Everyone has a heart. It is inherent no matter what, yet largely untamed.
Most hearts have no purpose nor direction nor dreams nor aspirations.
To lead, to serve, to guide, to instill, to inspire. The rest is up to the individual. Remember.


Gay Bar
A whole new world.
'Nuff Said.


Ramblings
Why do I still bother to blog? THere is simply so much and too much.

Had great conversations and time with loads of people everywhere i went.
I'm put in my place. Why do I still cry?

The cross I bear, by a thin black thread. I cannot live my life any longer. Almost everything I had believed in is crumbling....Why do I see and feel so much, yet to feel helpless and hopeless.
I want to run away from home, from work. Away from family and this society.
Put me in Aceh. I can be so useful there, my skills, my knowledge on the ground.
But nay. Never run away.

My hands keep trembling, a dull aches plagues my chest.
Too strong to break down. Too weak to stand alone.

Temptations all around. Never take the easy way out. Steadfast.

Song: The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

By Hoobastank

Quotes from Carl Jung

Quotes from Carl Jung.....

http://www.jashford.com/Pages/jung.html

Loading... A Priority

At Mercy Relief. Pellets ready for loading...
Essentials to be delivered by weekend. Or death toll could reach 300,000...

Lets do what we can.

And A Meadow Lark Sang

The child whispered, 'God, speak to me'
And a meadow lark sang.
The child did not hear.

So the child yelled, 'God, speak to me!'
And the thunder rolled across the sky
But the child did not listen.

The child looked around and said, 'God let me see you'
and a star shone brightlyBut the child did not notice.

And the child shouted, 'God show me a miracle!'
And a life was born but the child did not know.

So the child cried out in despair, 'Touch me God, and let me know you are here!'
Whereupon God reached down
And touched the child.

But the child brushed the butterfly away
And walked away unknowingly.

Song: All I Ask of You

(Raul and Christine)

No more talk of darkness, Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you -my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,let daylight dry -your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you . . .

Say you love me every waking moment, turn my head with talk of summertime . . .
Say you need me with you, now and always . . .
promise me that all you say is true -that's all I ask of you . . .

Let me be your shelter, let me be your light.
You're safe: No-one will find you your fears are far behind you . . .

All I want is freedom, a world with no more night . . .
and you always beside me to hold me and to hide me . . .

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime . . .
Let me lead you from your solitude . . .
Say you need me with you here, beside you . . .
anywhere you go, let me go too

That's all I ask of you . . .
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime . . .
say the word and I will follow you . . .

Share each day with me, each night, each morning . . .

Say you love me . . .
You know I do . . .
Love me -that's all I askof you . . .
Anywhere you go let me go too . . .

Love me -that's all I ask of you . ..

Music Musica!

Electrico!
Check out Singapore's very own rock band: Electrico's Website.
http://www.electricomusic.com/media/listen.html
Amazing music! Sample their music!
Especially: 11. I want you!


Music Video of "I believe in a Thing Called Love: by Darkness
I Believe in a Thing Called Love!
I love this too! They sang in during the new years countdown.
http://mfile.akamai.com/9139/asf/stream.wmg.com/wmi/uk/darkness/ibelieveinathingcalledlove_w_hi.asx

Phantom of The Opera
Watched the screen movie Phantom of the Opera too!
Wow! Better than I expected. But my poor head... Stiff neck.
Immerse yourself in Andrew Webbers world.

Tsunami Volunteer Help at these Places

Mercy Relief urgently requires help with packing

Volunteers requird to help sort and pack items at the Central Depository Store for collected donations. The address of the Central Depository Store is: 58, Lowland Road, Singapore 547453 [map] (off Upper Serangoon)Volunteers are required from 3-9 January, from 3 – 10 pm everyday.
To volunteer, simply walk in to the Central Depository Store during opening hours. Alternatively for other volunteering opportunities, pls download the volunteer form here, and email to query@mercyrelief.org stating the areas which you would like to contribute


Singapore Soka Association
Centre 3: 31st Dec 2004 - 9 Jan 2005Soka Youth Centre [clothes]156, Pasir Panjang Road [map]Tel: 64731711
Help needed daily from 10am - 8pm [updated 4th Jan 2005]

Remember the Kallang Wave? haha.. Always watch soccer live. TV... Bah....

Wierdest Game... 3 red cards.. benchers throw waterbottle,players kick water, fans throw dustbin etc etc... Terrible sportsmanship

So sweet....

Singapore Vs Myanmar @ National Stadium on 2 Jan 05...

Electrico. Super duper amazing performance.
Amanda is very very pretty. The group simply reached out to everyone. Played with their hearts.

Damn chio. Played songs from her new album. Blew me away. Blew everyone away.

Damn funky uncle dancing infront of the crowds during the perfomances. Livened up everyone!

Corrinne May. Her music changed my life.

"Shooting Star".. Haha!

Spent the day sorting out the stuff. Eventually everything nicely packed into boxes. Wasted didn't take more photos. Dedicated people. Boxes stacked high. From super hectic to quiet surreal when completed.

SPH collection Centre. Carpark filled with tons and tons of donated stuff. All unsorted and messed up. There is alot of work to be done man!

Another Amazing/Provoking Week

My Week

Wed:
Cycle/run: There was this old man that has 3 golden retrievers. Such amazing and beautiful specimens! He made them jump over the fence and then swim in the canal! Soooo cute.. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at them interestingly. Young and old, joggers, fishing men, passerbys, cyclists all stopped in awe. Should have taken a photo but didn't have my camera with me. Sigh. Waste!

Sentosa

Queensway shopping centre: My favourite place for shopping! Wanted to go ikea but no time.. Sigh.

NUS/Munchie Monkies: Nice dinner. Watched Myanmar and Singapore. Great match! haha.. Finally our singapore team has some sorta standard. Going to catch the match live on sunday at the national Stadium. Yay!


Thur
Ghim mo Market: Saw this Hawker uncle feeding Hawker Auntie zhui kuay.. So cute!

NUS: Went to NUS to photocopy stuff.. New photocopy auntie.. SO nice! Saw me photocopying some guitar stuff, started talking about guitar stuff to me.. Apparently her husband is a hard rocker. Teach me how to use the new machine.. Jio me this group G4.. Some new rock guitar group. Asked me to go back NUS on monday so that she can lend me a CD! haha.. So cute...

Toapayoh --> SPH: Transported supplies for the Tsunami Victims... They didn't want any more clothes. Now i have a trunk load of clothes! What shall I do with them?

Movie: Kungfu Hustle - One of the most hillarious films I've watched! Haven been able to laugh out so much in years! FANTASTICO!

Serangoon: Overnite at classmates house. Booze, games... The usual. Love his dog so much! So obedient and docile.


Fri:
Tiong Bahru--> Telok Blangah breakfast/Lesson/ Love his cat so much! So proud and carefree

SPH: Sorted all the clothes and material donated by people. TONS AND TONS man! Nice old pakcik security guard. Amazing experience. Think I hurt myself carrying boxes. 120,000 and still counting. I'm so exhausted.

Esplanade: Powerhouse: Caught Rafe! Havent sat in a rock concert for upteen years. What can I say. You have to be in one to know how it feels like. Electrifying!


Sat:
New Year Lunch at dutchess ave.

Esplanade: Outdoor theatre:
Electrico/ Tsunami Dedications/ Corrinne May/ Electrico/
ala
Rock high/150,000 pain/ love and life/ Bring the House down.
Cannot even explain the mixed feelings/thoughts/emotions that surged through me. Don't want to think about it.