Why I blog?

I have no idea. My thoughts are always in a mess. What are thoughts anyway?
on my shelf, there are philo books, psycho books, religio books, new age books.. this book that book... all with insights to suggest what thoughts are.. How thoughts is the language of consiousness. Which is the seat of the soul. Leading to more questions in trying to grasp something as formless, abstract and unsensible (insensible?) as thoughts lead on to the next. Ontological hogwash.
Bah. I've not even read those books. There are countless books to be read. Perhaps I'd write one someday. These assholes keep stealing my thoughts and passing it off as their own. Haha. The ego.

Then again. Writing Vs speech. shit. Cant remember something something about rousseu or aristotle arguing about which is the better one. Go figure.
My memory is crap. Thank goodness anyway, or I'll really go crazy.

Haha.. I actually have so much to write! and I was so afraid that i would be an empty shell on a blog.. Damn. Too much to write. TOO MUCH! Didnt realise i kept soooo much inside me. I feel like i can burst at the seams.. Ahh.. Now i see. I'm blogging now because i'm bursting.. Must be another emotional attack thats robbing me of rational control. I must control! freak...

I live on influence. To live like the people around me so that i can function like the rest, a distraction from who i am. Perhaps its time i really find that out.
sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

Too much to write..... i must really stop now.
sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

:)